oh.whats.life.

2011-07-14T10:49:00.002+08:00

im blogging again.

because bad things are happening again.

first its my job.
on the same day that i was told 'i expect more from u' from my CEO.
i was told the same thing by my bf.

so i really dont get it.

am i that lousy?

im tired of people seriously.
human beings.

i cant seem to please any of them.

2011-06-18T13:16:00.007+08:00

i have some time to kill.

so what have i been up to nowadays

maintaining HPA

setting up MDC

and.. this little cutie came into my life on 15th May 2011

Cotton

then work, many weekends burnt

oh and tuition ..

so i need some time to MIA for awhile, from friends esp.

thank god no birthdays this month. but anyway i look and feel damn cui. no life in me to party or to run around or to even shop.

just wan to maintain myself.

why doing so many things? cause $ is never enough. and setting up the blogshops allow me to earn $ while im doing & not doing my full time job.

and soon, need to get a house, neeed to get married.

want to be pretty and want to travel.

so many things to do and i dont wanna wait till im 35 where the wrinkles apppear and the freckles are beyond repair or the scars on my legs are still there. & my hairrrr, 25 goddamn years with this lousy hair, and i jus wanna change all that.

n it means $$$$

so many things that i WANT.

so im sorry that i keep rejecting people to go out/ or that i dont seem to be interested.

im jus tired. im still interested i still can talk/listen. but maybe i realy jus cant keep going out for the moment.

hopefully i have understanding friends who doesn think that ive become so engrossed with $$ that i forget my friends or now that 'i am ok, i dont need my friends anymore'.

which is completely untrue.
and most prob nobody reads my blog already anyways. but this is too long to be posted on fb or twitter.

and ive no time to meet my friends or call one by one to explain, because i'll sound like a lunatic.

anyway i love u all.
thanks for being there when it mattered and hope still continue to be.

esp my family whos trying to accomodate cotton and taking care of her
and the bf who fetches us up and down and fights for cotton to stay.
and to all i've asked advice about my cotton and have responded in anyway.

most prob i'll need a few months to settle down, then i'm going to sch!
god.

the nightmare is going to continue.

im tired and upset lately, mainly cause of my work.

should i stay or should i go

hanteen says i might change job at the end of the yr.
there will be opportunities, and its up to me whether i wanna grab them.
my future seems very rough sailing.

2011-05-31T13:06:00.002+08:00

please visit my blogshop!

http://mdcouture.livejournal.com

thanks a bunch!!

help me spread the word around.

anyway
i love cotton.
shall blog and upload her pics when i have the time. hopefully today. <3

2011-02-25T16:16:00.010+08:00

alright, i noe i said i will be disciplined and do my work today. buttttt..
this is like day 2 of moving back! and i have so many things to unpack

anyways hopefully i have some time later to do~~. basically its changing of figures and deleting and adding some stuff. which i shouldddd be able to do tmr morning at work. if nt my boss will KILL ME because his boss will KILL him.

photos time!

first up, i super miss this cutie.
see her from puppy until almost 1 yr.
cant bear to part with her.
didnt even get to say goodbye to her before i left.
so sad...
miss her greeting at the door.
miss her attention seeking antics
miss sayang-ing her.
but
i guess somethings really no choice
this is COCO!! who had to withstand my crying, shouting and craziness throughout the past 1 yr.

she always lies down with one hand out like tt.

forever distracted by something

almost impossible to take pic with her w/o her licking ur face

shaved but still as cute! look at her 3 zam ba!

her bone. full of focus and conc when shes with her bone.

forever bullying me. attention seeking dog

ok time for some people pics! :D

new yr came and left..

valentines day at Kuishinbo

me and my darling!

recently celebrated jia birthday

yep.
overall. very few pics cause i lost my camera.
whats new right?
adeline the lose-r. :(

anyway thank you everyone so far.

desaru, kl in march. bkk in april. SO LOOKIN FORWARD!!!
now waiting for darling to finish his coaching and see if there are plans tonight

so weird not waking up beside him
weird not washing/folding his clothes.
become habit liao.
theres not one thing in my room now that belongs to him. :(
and i miss the view of the room.
its weird not walking arnd and having the need to open the close the cage because we dont wan coco to dash into our rooms and urine on our beds! or eat hair or some weird stuff! hahaha!!!
miss that siao zarbo!!!
its weird that i dont see him coming into the room at 4 5 am to disturb my slp..
its weird that i dont get to kiss him goodbye before i leave the hse..

logically, this is the best decision.

2010-12-04T10:47:00.001+08:00

yayy... everything is getting better
happy.

i have an msn hate list. haha. so childish i noe but i dun care.

if tomorrow have time wanan post happy pics here!!!

2010-11-18T19:01:00.001+08:00

so boring
hate to be shot down like tt
hate to be rejected all the time and other people get what they want
i should jus move to another side of the world.
why is everyone else always more impt
why do they always deserve better
why am i always last

2010-11-03T17:26:00.001+08:00

no feeling at all how?

say miss u no response
say love u no response

= no hope alrady right

what u trying to do
totally dun understand

not a game lor

2010-10-07T17:26:00.002+08:00

im so dumb
i think i lost a cheque.

whos really sure
really

but maybe i shldnt be sure, because it shouldnt be this hard right?
how can 4 yrs be TOO long, what about 40 yrs
i really cant heelp but compare

2010-09-23T10:26:00.003+08:00

ha.

after that crazy post, im back!
feel better now.
feel better than the past few weeks.
cant wait for oct to end.

i think ... my trip gonna have problems
hais
pls let me have a good trip
a relax one

2010-09-21T19:59:00.002+08:00

fuck my life
fuck relationships
fuck love
fuck his friends
fuck eveything

2010-09-20T16:00:00.002+08:00

i hope i never have to cry and hurt like that again.
never.

is there anything i can do to make the pain go away?
is there something you would like to do?

i have to be strong
strong strong strong

2010-09-15T16:31:00.002+08:00

its been crazy so far.

went home. first thing, gt scolded.
second thing, settle family problems,.
and i wasnt in a good mood somemore.
third thing, the bf.

i deserved to be scolded because im seldomhome
but i wasnt scolded BECAUSE im not at home
but because i forgot something
i also wish i can change my forgetfulness
but too bad.

second, family thing settled.
sort of. pending some stuff. but at least the quarrels should stop.

third, the bf.
i love my bf alot. everyone knows. i think he noes.
all i ask for.
is some love, commitment, faithfulness.
very difficult?
why women can do it and men just cant?
BORN THIS WAY?
no wonder more women wan to stay single.
and guys say we want to pick fight and dun have trust.
i wish guys would look at themselves, the lies, their actions and then THINK.
then they will understand its Their fault that women became like tt.
but i guess of course no pt blaming anyone.
women can also do the same back to men.
then men can say singapore women, more and more demanding, blah blah blah
when they dunno that its they prove to us being faithful and nice is no use.
we being taken as idiots and step on.

i jus ask 3 simple things
love, commitment and faithfulness
really so difficult?

wrong meh

2010-09-13T00:30:00.001+08:00

Make me cry again, Hate.What's wrong with a few msgs? Every couple got MSG or some even talk on the phone.In Singapore less because get to meet. So overseas naturally will miss n wanna MSG mah..Wrong meh?

2010-09-11T09:37:00.003+08:00

eee i dun like this weekend.

had a good talk with my dear pat.
miss her so much.
and i managed to get my drink! woooots.
if not for my bloody ulcers would be very happy to down more.
dont know why
think tense ba nowadays.
and its good to have people to talk to nowadays.
u know like 'i talk, and u listen, u talk and i listen?'

most of the time conversations.. they jus get cut in between. and some people jus pour cold water before you even get to the main pt. most people cant be bothered to stand in the person's pt of view and think.

NOBODY REALLY LISTENS nowadays right?
which is why..
sometimes i dont bother talking at all
or
i jus be funny the whole night
and i rather listen to other people.
cause
theres no pt

anyway i hope darling wins 1st prize in 4d! cause i have a shaaareee! :D
and im sick and tired of looking at this office, and entertaining all these ungrateful people
they are turning me into an evil person, so i need a break from all of them.
to jus believe in humans again
18 more days :D
been trying not to buy things. because theres HK.
13th is mummy and daughter day out :)

im very uncomfortable and upset.
because i dunno why i need to face these things.
why am i being put through all these tests?
and yes, i need to be strong.
i need to have faith.
i need to be committed.
no question about it.. nobody has questions about it.
except for me.
i have lots of questions

i dont like to be last.
nobody likes to be.
but i especially dont like to be placed behind people who i think DONT deserve to be in front of me.

im really a nice person. genuine most of the times.
of course, i admit to the whole freaking world, im selfish at times.
i try to escape from my responsibilities from time to time. im stupid and blur.
i dont ALWAYS think from other people pt of view.

but im definitely not superwoman.
i can put on a smile and hang out with eeveryone.
but then, whos ready to listen to my worries and troubles?
and i mean listen.

so turn one whole big round. realise i haven really said wat i wanted to say. hahaa.

anyway im very excited for pat and gary. hehee
wish them successs
im still hoping to work with pat one day!!! PATRICIA LIM XIN HUI, earn more $$, i also wan to save up and do biz liao!

2010-09-09T08:19:00.002+08:00

shit.
i did something wrong again.
organise a talk by another organisation and have to last min cancel
because i forgot that the aunties have another activity elsewhere
sometimes i jus wanna be nice.
give them different things, beneficial things beacuse other people say its good
so whyyyyy does it blow up at my face?
and how come pass through so many hands, nobody mentioned that theres something else!?!?!?

but its my fault la.
if i know i dun organisee.
its because i see my colleagues everyday jus waiting for this centre to rot and die and close down

hmmm im reading mitch albom latest, Have a Little Faith. most of the book is filled with conversations between the Reb and Mitch
some stuff that i would like to share:
about war..

Mitch: But so many people wage wars in God's name.
Reb: Mitch, God does not want such killing to go on.
Mitch: Then why hasnt it stopped?
Reb: Because men does.

and its true.
its something we dont think about. especially those involved in the wars.

about happiness....

mitch: What makes a man happy?
Reb: Having more does not keep you from wanting more. And if you always want more- to be richer, more beautiful, more well known - you are missing the bigger picture, and i can tell you from experience, happiness will never ever come.
Reb: Be satisfied, be grateful
mitch: That's it?
Reb: For what you have, for the love you receive. And for what God has given you.
Mitch: That's it?
Reb (sighing deeply): That's it

haha i laughed at this.
the Reb just said, be grateful and statisfied.
but we always think happiness as having this and that, a long list of neverending wants/needs.
and so he sighed at Mitch for asking 'that's it?'
because nobody can believe that happiness is just so simple.

about death...

Mitch: What do people fear most about death?
Reb: Well, for one thing, what happens next? Where do we go? is it what we imagined?
Mitch: That's big.
Reb: Yes. But there's something else.
Mitch: What else?
Reb: Being forgotten.

about marriage...

Reb: i think people expect too much from marriage today. They expect perfection. Every moment should be bliss. That's TV or movies. But that is not the human experience. The trick is twhen things aren't so great, you don't junk the whole thing. it's okay to have an argument. It's okay that the other one nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It's part of being close to someone. But the joy you get from the same closeness - when you watch your children, when you wake up and smile at each other - that, as our tradition teaches us, is a blessing. People forget that.
Mitch: Why do they forget it?
Reb: Because the word 'commitment' has lost its meaning...... A committed person was someone to be admired. He was loyal and steady. Now a commitment is something you avoid. You don't wan to tie yourself down.... But real commitment? That requires staying power - in faith and in marriage.
Mitch: And if you don't commit?
Reb:Your choice. But you miss what's on the other side.
Mitch: Whats on the other side?
Reb: Ah, a happiness you cannot find alone.

... thats all for now. hahaa still wanna continue to read :P

but its very insightful.
and some of the stuff i really believe in them
jus maybe i think its hard to find someone who believes in the same things as i do

2010-09-03T17:13:00.003+08:00

they are really making me very vry demoralised~~~

i know that this is part of my job so i have to take it.
but do they really have to make it THIS difficult?

destined to fail

2010-08-29T23:45:00.002+08:00

Being a pessimist, I start as a failure.
Almost everything I do, I willfail.
I would like to become an optimist, but then need to change mindset and need things to actually start being good arnd me.
Then again, I'm stupid plus mostly suayed.
So even if I'm an optimist.
I will still fail.Things are starting to crumble.
I'm starting to crumble..
Life is jus a slow and painful death.Full of misery, full of fakeness, full of misunderstandings, full of wars..
I wish to give my life to somebody who actually wishes to live longer
I bought insurance for myself alrrady. Hopefully can help my family in some way.

N I tot things were getting better.
I mus have been dreaming ..I still can't pls everyone, no matter how much I try.
I still get misunderstood.I still stand alone here
I still have absolutely nobody to turn to.
Still nothing The only people I can be real to, I can't be real.
I don't feel alive..

Help..I wanted to work in this sector to hrlp people.
I tot I was helping these people. So I can feel alive.
So I can believe life is not jus about dollars and cents. So I can believe that there are actually people who will appreciate ..So I can believe in something.
But everyone is so selfish
Everyone is so annoying
Everyone is jus out to get each other

I tot we were going to be together for a long time..
For real this time.
Maybe I'm jus not lucky to be loved by someone.
Maybe I need to take out my heart and freeze it.
Maybe I need to go for lessons to teach myself to love people.
Apparently what I know is ALL wrong
What I do is always wrong
What I never do is also wrong
What I say wrong
Never say also wrong
Maybe I'm jus wrong

Wrong to be here

2010-08-28T12:44:00.002+08:00

HAhaHaha im not an avid fan of xiaxue.

but i mus say i absolutely like this post of hers

http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/2010/07/how-to-not-cheat.html

die.
i hate working on sats.
and my sat is suddenly packed.
and i need SLEEP.
suddenly jus feeeling like nua-ing at home -_-

2010-08-27T17:11:00.004+08:00

i finally booked my hotel!!!!

whahahahaaa.. HONGKONG here i comee!!
now im finally feeling the excitement

god. i needd to find $$$

i remember last yr hk trip
started off as a disaster
had to choose who to go, then mus buy the souvenir
quarrelled like crazy
and wanted to visit some places didnt get to visit
lost my wallet.
got myself alittle drunk
the memory of last yr kills me
almost wish i had forgotten it.
but i think it will forever stay with me
its like a deep deep cut, which left a scar that maybe needs a long time to heal

but then,
this time im going again!
:)

will take ALOT ALOT of pics this time..
oh ya some pics to upload. haha jay chou concert. heheheheee i went quite crazy. although not as crazy as i would have liked to be.

i need to find some crazy people to go wild and screeaaaamm with.
really need to relax. and stop being involved in all this politcs and craziness

but all smiles recently. i hope the phase is over. although there will surely be a next phase. but its alright.

missed the hdb queue. but yes, another one. maybe should look for dbss. see how.. $$ is another issue, cause of CPF also.
headache headache

where are my crazy friends!!!! i need crazy friends.
mj tmr... long time no see GAWP. all willie's fault hahaa,i noe willie will see this and scold me.
but i jus like blaming him :D

i suddenly have the urge to drink...hmmmm

i hope the next time i call gpals to go anywhere or a holiday, it wouldn be so difficult
i know we're drifting.
i jus hope we can find the time/effort/$$/heart to actually do something about it.
i really think we should organise a getaway or jus everyone take leave on one day, to jus bond.

im losing all my friends :(

2010-08-24T16:00:00.002+08:00

hais.

so tired and sian.

2010-07-30T10:44:00.001+08:00

my bloody day got worse

cant please my father
cant please him

i should jus go n die

2010-07-29T17:33:00.001+08:00

FUCK
really hate her now.

arrghhh
im not a beggar ok

2010-07-28T23:51:00.000+08:00

love it when he cooks for me!!!!

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))

one more month

2010-07-23T17:49:00.003+08:00

a friend of mine posted:
爱情就是；谁先付出真心，谁就是输家.

his friend replied:

Ermmm pls don't influence me. I'm getting married soon. But den again I have been in love for 8 yrs. It does not affect me. Hehe. :-x

i wonder what it feels like to be in love for 10 yrs. and ack that u have been in love for 10 yrs. and not think that the only way to go is down a old boring road..

2010-07-23T12:29:00.002+08:00

wah i was damn angry that day la
hai
i swopped with my colleague
about to leave at 5pm
cause i have tuition
i was damn unwilling to swop
have to wake up damn early
need to pay extra for my cab fare
and then i had to lose my specs on the cab

then suddenly he say, eh adeline i tot u work till 7pm
then i shoot him dagger eyes
hes always always like tt
then my boss say, eh u not working till 8pm ar?

so i ask my malay colleague cause she came in before me. i ask her to tell them who came la
then she say its me, then i dunno what happen
she say 'frankly speaking, she (adeline) was late but she was the early one'
then my boss stare at me

fuck,
ALL SHE HAD TO SAY WAS , yes she came 8am.
blooddy hell, she also late lor.
all started from my fucking colleague who had to ask if i work till 7pm
why the fuck i have such colleagues
who DEMAND my help but bloody only know how to push me to hell
then get one letter only, keep irritating me say i promote
found out from my boss they also got the lettter
so he say they wan to ze siao me only
but its been like 3 days alrady,
cannot get over it meh

bloody childish people
cant wait for my long weekend
dont feel like seeing their faces
make me damn irritated only

jay tmr! :DDDDD
very happy
my first time at concert with darling
hope no quarrels everything go smoothly

tgif.
i really cant wait for today to end
we're gonna celebrate val birthday and i wish everything will be better from the time i step out of this DAMN office.

2010-07-20T23:26:00.002+08:00

:) good news!

got increment! :)
whehehe.
but aiyah. im the only one. so can imagine my office.
hais
dunno whether everything will become worse anot
thank u very much to my chairman, ED, and my manager! :)

but upset about other things.
grrrrrr

2010-07-16T16:16:00.003+08:00

these few days quite down
cause of everything

my colleague is down
she thinks the whole world is against her
thinks my boss is giving her too much work
and is biased.
now she noes what i felt the other time. i had the whole thing for one year.
let someone else have it
but of course
being the nice girl i help

i jus need to vent
because is very simple tings
that she can jus do it on her own
but she request for my help, and both of us are wasting our time doing the simple thing when i actually have things to do
its not that i have nothing is jus that I DONT SAY

let me jus quote an example of ONe f-up attitude:

ive got meeting tmr
im doing my work
shes got something i duno what
but shes got classes so maybe need to leave soon
shes in charge of activities (jus like i was before)
but people come to register with her
she pts them to me
because a. shes doing her work, b. shes doing her SCH work
but remember everyone, IM ALSO DOING my work right
nvm, i entertain
i dont mind, because they are CHINESE.
mind u im the most non-racist person u can find
but thats really a stupid reason
so end up, im really doing all the work again, but because shes in charge she claims all the credit
and i listen to all the naggins and i solve all her problems
and she continues to happily type on her com.
while i handle all her shit
but hey, i fininsh my work already so i can blog now
am i OBLIGATED to help her? no.
but she TAKES it for granted, which i freaking hate to the freaking max
cause everyone is doing that to me
and she DARE to complain shes overloaded with work
i swear to god, if i kenna shot during staff meeting, dun blame me
it depends on my mood and the extent of the stab.

then comes my rs
which according to some people, might be its always on the rocks
but then im jus not the kind to like keep showing off
so i try recently because i realis maybe its not doing my bf justice
but there are certain problems that will always be stuck there
i wonder if its a character problem or a age problem

why do we need bf/gf if we already have friends
who are willing to accompany us and go through sad and happy times with us
issit we can count on the bf/gf to be there 24 hours? no.
issit we can count on the bf/gf to take care of us when we're sick? no.
issit because theres a listening ear? no.
because theres someone to love us?

which is really fuzzy imo.
because up till this very day, theres no universal definition of love.
its a feeeling thing
which differs from person to person

so how? communication lor
but some people dont like to comm
they like to do do do
then whether they doing it right or not, doesn matter
they jus do do do
then some peolpe like to talk talk talk,
but dont do
its really a tiring thing to maintain
not to even mention, some people attached, behave like single
totally no commitment.
not sensitive to partner's feelings
expect others to give all the time and they take
then some jus love to lie

listening to all these stories sometimes make me feel very happy
but he hit a nerve that night
by saying 'theres no guarantee'
theres really no guarantee, whos really sure about the future
but what about now
whats happening now
the things that we can do now
the effort that we can make now the commitment now

it is tiring, nobody said that commitments will be easy
friends also like tt
constantly fighting to get everyone to meet on the same day
for that 2-3 hours.
i spent much more time trying to get people to meet instead of the meeting itself
come to that day, some people mgiht not turn up, some people late
im not blaming anyone.
hey i also do such things...i know what it feeels like
but what im trying to say, to make a pt.
ya, it is the future.
if we cant even make something happen like how we want it in 2-3 weeks time,
how can we possibly make sure something happens in 2-3 yrs time?

so it only that there is effort, now that there is commitment.
now that at least we see something that can make us look forward to the future.

its jus some tots la
cause everytime i hear so many different views so jus wanna share my own
its jus that everyone has a limit to thinking FOR other people
everyone has a limit to how understanding we can be
some people are not understanding they are jus cannot be bothered and thats a totally differnt story because that attitude will show in other aspects

of course its always better to be the one who care less because u dont put in so much in it
so issit we're competing whos putting lesser than the other because we dont wan to get hurt?
its always those who are able to give out of their character who i think is truly good because they go the extra mile
in work also like tt.
im nt saying we shouldnt be contented but we should improve, and not always think we deserve less than what we deserve
and people around us should not give us any less
because thats when the cracks start to show...
im very demoralised

2010-06-23T17:39:00.003+08:00

being stressed and tired, insufficient slp.
really affects people
we are not so careful with our words and not so attentive to others

hai
maybe its jus one of the those few days when everything jus sucks.
and i should jus stay far far away

2010-06-19T12:16:00.003+08:00

sometimes u wanna be there for some people
u wan to listen to what they have to say
then u say somethings.
they dun listen to ur advice, its ok. cause theres no obligation.
but sometimes they want you to say something
they want you to say something they wanna hear from u, but its not what u feel

then ends up, u spend time, effort to wan to help the person, and it seems like its gone to nowhere.
and sometimes i wish, i didnt help or didnt had to help in the first place at all.
cause i didnt manage to do anything to help

-- to be continued

2010-06-04T18:40:00.000+08:00

hope nothing changes
and everything remains.

jus happy can already .

2010-05-22T00:24:00.003+08:00

sometimes its the things i DONT say .. are actually the things that are the ones that really matter and bother me..

so u think you know me well?
no u dont..

im hopeful for the next week
but
alot of things are bothering me now..
must not be selfish.

aiyah
why mus everything mess up..

getting mixed signals from people

2010-05-11T17:44:00.002+08:00

i lost my camera
90% sure of it
hai
very sad
found back the earrings lost the camera
what the hell..
dun understand why such a fucking big bag i still can lose it

then need to buy again
spend money again
birthday never take any pics.

thanks everyone for the birthday wishes though :)

watched the back up plan and although it wasnt a terrific show
but i think
somehow
reminds me of myself
also duno why
i jus really think that nobody will stay by ur side
on paper, seems like i have everything

but i always feel that all these things.. are so.. superficial
like i never really have them
and once i have them
i really cant just let it go like tt

and then my actions will just drive these people away
maybe i'm never really satisfied with my life..

i still cant cant cant cant trust people fully
24 goddamn years
and im sorry to everyone out there.
i think i know how it mus feels like to not be trusted

must learn to deal with these trust issues
hope theres more time for me
so that i wont be hugging some bolster to slp at night when im pregnant with twins. and regret everything (its from the movie)

thanks people for being so patient with me

hai
currently my life kinda sucks
WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK
but then i need more $$$
because i lost the stupid camera

now i cant even upload pics in my blog to make it more interesting

anyway HONGKONG! sep!
but genting first!!!

good luck to all my dear friends having exams now
love u all! :)

i seriously think im not lucky in gambling
gone RWS two times liao ...
maybe stick to the jackpot
haha

Iphone Casing at Wholesale prices!

2010-05-03T01:14:00.001+08:00

Iphone Casing at Wholesale prices!

Posted using ShareThis

2010-04-25T01:51:00.004+08:00

Mum's birthday at a restaurant near Blk 85

A very happy me surrounded by people i love. :)

Willie's birthday at Triple 3

also surrounded by people i love..

2010-04-23T20:44:00.001+08:00

This is a reminder to myself that I should not expect anything today.

What can I do bout it? Nothing. So should I say Anything?
Nothing.

Significant?
No

Can say? Cannot

But ya. That's reality and my reality sucks.

End of story.

Took the circle line!!! Hehe
But late for my post office!
Talk too long to the citibank person Liao arghh.. If not tmr can slp longer before work..

Am thinking of goin for a run...

My dinner from polar! Pray I won't feel like vomitting again haha! How lousy Ive become. Ashamed of myself compare to sec 4 times. Or even jc for that matter..

Miss u.. If only u knew n .. Hai.
It's gonna be a huge problem.

I'm so sian of all these people.

Gonna eat Liao!

Very happy with the surpise yest! Wanted use umbrella today but rain stopped!!!!
Tsk tsk..

They got me a lovely umbrella to match with my bag!
Hehee ..

Thanks!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-04-21T17:46:00.002+08:00

omgggg new casings came already!
very pretty!

the stupid deal extreme make me run around and make so manyyy phone calls.
and then give me WRONG items

.. now mus move on to non-iphone stuff
cannot always stuck at this.. then can have more business

tmr offfff :)
pls pray to god that my citibank credit card application goes through, and my UOB one also.

i have yet to post pics... sorry if everything is getting too wordy. ahha maybe tonight.
nadine complain about my blog. so im gonna try to bombard her with pictures soon!
argh.

MC meeting = prepare stats plus notes of meeting after that
my birthday
mothers day celebration with eunos crescent rc= performances, decorations
prepare for dumpling festival with manjusri sec

hais.
endless and endless of things
for people who will not appreciate
relatively better mood

2010-04-20T11:37:00.002+08:00

yest a girlfriend called me, i told her she mus think positive.
in the end, im the one who cannot do it

i really cannot dont compare.
really cannot understand why got difference.

actualy i blame others, blame u
i think i have myself to blame
there must be something wrong with me
something that allows people to step on my bloody head aand step and step and step

really must push me to a corner
must make my happiness to unhappiness

what did i do to u people

fucked up

2010-04-19T23:22:00.000+08:00

Some people are damn funny..

Is I prioritize the wrong thing ?
Or they prioritize wrongly?
Or maybe what I've listened to are all lies and excuses?

Then why are these OTHER people soooo lack of initiative.in order to get what they want..
They deprive of others..

I'm trying my best really.
It's sucking my every bloody stregth to not burst and shout at someone.

How can other people decide whether I get to spend time with u?
Atrocious.

I wish these other people get the same feeling I do. So they know what it feels like to be disturbed!!!
Hope u realise before it's too late

I managed to do it again..

Somehow I managed to get my eye infected.
And now I managed to get scolded .. Because I expect concern.

Dumb me will never learn my lesson.
Because I dunno how is it that people can don't care.

And I think I will never know..

2010-04-14T23:44:00.002+08:00

im very very unhappy
i cannot shut up anymore

so many obstacles
so many problems

2010-04-12T21:20:00.002+08:00

bah

sometimes people really puzzle me
when i say ive got things im upset.
they say why never tell them
they say they will be there

but when i start to say somethings
i become invisible
unheard.
kenna say i emo

contradicting people.
issit because they are happy, so i cannot be sad?
it seems like i always complain
i guess its jus that i dont like to announce to the whole world im happy. coz somehow it seems haoliann
but ya
i think thats how people want me to be

2010-04-12T01:33:00.002+08:00

BAhHHhhh

2010-04-08T15:29:00.002+08:00

AH.

hais

sometimes OUT means OUT
when will it all blow up in my face
how much longer i can pretend its gonna be fine
that i gonna feel the same
i still feel sad whenever i feel it
after all, its been so long
if only i can find the courage to just walk away

im jus dying a slow and painful death

2010-04-08T01:03:00.007+08:00

hah!

photos finally!

mummys birthday at Chin Lee Restaurant

very very very pathetic 'shou tao'
but nevertheless.. its the MEANING

sorry to my mum and dad that cant afford to bring you eat damn good food yet.
give me some more time :)

our spoils from the arcade :D

:D

Shutter island was okok.
but wth! i thought have 800 goodie bags! soooo many women go watch movie meh!?
tmd

abit upset.
nvm.

and how come my credit card application so slow de..
wah liao.
i damn irritated can

2010-04-05T16:09:00.003+08:00

ha! im using twitter now.
anna intro one.

hahaa got twitter pls add me!
adeline86 :)

its the place where i talk crap. hahaha
wednesday off! yesh! and wednesday watch shutter island sneak!

and tmr night haircut!
recently quite naughty girl.
hais..

today will be nice girl.

2010-03-24T00:16:00.002+08:00

hais.

i know its already been a few weeks but i still irritaated . maybe im too senstive but i really think its insincere and theres a motive behind it.

i already said im sorry, theres no need to rub it in and make me feel that its really my fault.
argghhh i jus need to blah it out! dun think any of u will understand unless you saw it.
but i dun like people doing this!!!!!!

it jus feel so fake and ok lor. i fake with u lor.
but wth.
esp when i think of people who say she is nice.

i noe i noe i noe.
heck care.
dun be too sensitive.
dun bother.

but im happier now. :D
so most of the time, these things fade to the back..
but of coz.. there are times.. when i think back..
i cant help but wonder..

well anyways, i wanted to complain about my work too.
but i realise there's been a lack of pics.
next post ba

my elderly are killin me at the moment... pray hard that the complaints will get lesser and not so serious

on course thurs and half friday. i will be off PM. oooo maybe i should cut my hair

and lovely bones on thurs with lovely girls

thank you my friends for buying from me the accessories and thank you for recommending your friends to buy..

u all are wonderful

cant wait for clash of the titans!!! 3D. mus freaking book it soon!

2010-03-20T01:43:00.001+08:00

I'm surrounded by selfish ppl..

Always sacrifice my things for people who don't appreciate.

So slpy

Hahaa I think the massage too good liao..

Today was act tai tai life day.. :D

Must start saving money le

I'm feeling very hot..
Promised myself this month no mc!

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2010-03-17T19:17:00.001+08:00

I just wan to smile more.
I just wan to be happy.
I just need need my heart to feel happy again.

I need something to make me feel needed wanted and make a difference to people lives

I guess teaching is still something I believe in.

I will get there....
Somehow

:/

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-03-15T16:56:00.003+08:00

rely on people really can die

i already trying not to rely

u all jus dun come and add more things can already

i dun understand whats going on leh
why everyone like so competitive, yet still wanna slack

then alot of things = teamwork
but then wan to be so selfish

until i dont even feel like doing anything or helping at all

narrowminded people.

一手遮天 ... hahahaa more like 一手顶天
see already i wan to laugh

cannot see that only im the one rushing here and there and every freaking person calling my name

f up people who only think of themselves

complain complain argh
tmd

2010-03-10T12:54:00.003+08:00

im blogging at work

1) i am BORED
2) i have somethings on my mind that i cant get rid of them

its there.
that nagging feeling
im not so sure anymore

but we all have choices
if only there was somebody ...

can i be selfish
can i dun pick up calls when ure crying, sad, angry
dun reply smses when i know youre hurt, depressed
dun care about what you feel
jus think about what i wan, what i need

cause at the end of the day
everyone thinks for themselves
and so wat if im understanding and give give give
whos gonna think for me at the end of the day
NOBODY

so dun expect me to be nice
because some people have no initiative, have no conscience and have no brains to think for other people

thats why im angry
thats why im sad
thats why i cant do anything
i cant even say out the exact reason why im upset
I CANT
it will tear everything apart again

and so i wait

which adeline you all prefer?
choose
let me know

the one who, is irritated but tries to keep quiet and help u
but she cant always be at that level, she has her own temper, own problems, own thinking, own feelings.
so she bursts, snaps, sarcastic remarks.
and then you turn aroound and say 'adeline today siao, emo, bad mood, for nothing anngry'
and nobody bothers
and blame me instead
but they forget to reflect on their own bloody actions and spare a thought for other people

OR

adeline who feels irritated, think that if i dont tell u, u'll never know. so i snap/complain/feedback
but no, say i always complain, always emo, always unhappy..
the adeline that you know is not like tt blah blah

so what exactly you all want
cant be myself
nobody accepts me for me but want me to accept them for that
so i keep quiet most of the time
i talk rubbish most of the time
i laugh alot, smile alot
even though im feeling empty inside

cause this is the adeline everyone wants
cant be angry, cant complain, cant make noise, cant be selfish, must be understanding

im tired
its like a struggle to live everyday

2010-03-08T20:51:00.003+08:00

im jus very unhappy with my life.

is this gonna last forever.

everyday i hehe and haha and laugh and smile
but still feel so empty.

hai
im the worlds biggest fool

2010-03-08T00:09:00.001+08:00

f everything.

things keep going wrong.
no matter what i do.

so unhappy with my life.
why cannot jus die

2010-03-02T18:22:00.001+08:00

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2010-02-25T23:18:00.002+08:00

hai

why cant i jus heck care about u
why do i feel you are impt to me

why do u always push me away

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

why do pppl always call my name
i dont wan to help u all
i dont wan

nobody is helping me
why should i help u all

2010-02-24T18:36:00.005+08:00

im sorry but i really need to vent all my frustration and anger out
before i scold innocent people

one min i freaking angry one min i freaking sad

i really love him alot

hais

but i can think of a few people who will be happy to see us break up
hahahaha
i really very tired to fight sometimes
i always lose
why u all like tt..
i really dont understand

issit im very evil
issit i always have to give up wat i want so other pple can have what they want

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2010-02-24T02:03:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time, I had a bf who will put my voice as his MSG tone

And carry my picture wherever he went.

I never call anyone.
I scroll down my phone book. And there's no one I feel like calling

What will ppl say to me
You deserve it
Hahahahahaa

Hahaha Sounds familiar?
One year ago ..
Some people are jus so funny.
They say the funniest things to get some attention.
I dun even know why I had to be mentioned
But well I had a good valentines day this year.

i spent alot of time thinking of somebody who dont even bother about me.

i really have nobody at all.

pls dun call me/sms me next time when u all are in trouble.
i dun feel like entertaining anyone
thanks

2010-02-23T00:45:00.002+08:00

I'm a shit.

Stupid shit

the feeling is just unexplainable, unbelievable. the feeling of being safe in ur hands no matter what happens, knowing you'll be there, to catch me. the feeling of trust, the feeling of love. :)

when will it be my turn?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-02-20T14:06:00.001+08:00

It's funny how we all drifted apart.. In different directions.. Maybe there was nothing there to begin with..

Sometimes wats the pt in making friends..
Make 5 friends lose 5 friends
Make 3 friends lose 3 friends
Novody can be bothered
Nobody wan to care..

So tiring..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-02-18T23:34:00.001+08:00

pls support my dear friend

http://thetwoapples.livejournal.com/

im getting cranky and emo again.
sian.

pics soon for you all k.. im so lazy
im gonna watch movie liaos

i love u :)

2010-02-07T14:02:00.000+08:00

What did I do to deserve this man.

All this suayness

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-02-01T17:00:00.002+08:00

watched tooth fairy!
hehe... avg la.
abit lame.. hahaa but ok la. quite funny here and there.

anyway damn busy and stress lately.
how ar.
phone keep ringing, msg here and there, msn also.
need to keep checking email.
office and gmail.
i want faint. haha
need to entertain all my elderly.

someone nearly wanted complain to the newspaper.
and my only involvement is ... to BRING them there and back home.
thats it. but i have to service recovery for two persons.
totally suay.
lucky im quite ok and good with them.
so its not that bad.
but still im irritated by the fact that its not my problem but somehow it became my problem

so pls. im not shaking leg here in the office.
i deserve every freaking bit of moment that i slack.
cause i really go all out to freaking pls these people.
and i put down alot of pride.
for everything and everyone

selfish people really good.
dun need think for other peoople.
like this u will ALWAYS be happy.
me this kind, go die already, nobody notice.
hahaa..

anyway, thanks for the movie! u remembered. :)

later watch the Heath Ledger one..
looks not bad .. hehe

2010-01-30T15:11:00.002+08:00

how to trust like tt.
suddenly pattern here pattern there.

already super busy and tired.
trying my best.
now i know why that time u snap

i think i karma
retribution.

2010-01-30T01:05:00.004+08:00

this is my 400th post for this blog.

crap sia.
i have so much nonsense to crap about.

maybe something is really wrong.
haha today was talking to one of my friend.

i told her, "think of the positive side. conc on what is being done than on whats not being done."
i lke talking/listening to my friends.. somehow i get to think about my own things also.. from different perspective..

ive been trying.. positive positive.
but is it something wrong with me

im supposed to be happy.
how come im not?

time is not enough, yet when i have time, it seems too much...
i wan hide in a hole and dun come out liaos
i scare of people calling my name..

i dun have a life.
my life is soooo borrrrinngggggggggg
i need to do something, like go whack somebody, or i will burst one day

anyway thank you everyone .
for contributing to my small little biz one way or another :)
love u all.
jus in case, u all did not see the website that i pasted everywhere...

here it is again

http://handphone-accessories.blogspot.com/

ah damn it.
damn everything and everybody
u all jus f off

2010-01-21T02:27:00.001+08:00

At least now u dun have to struggle anymore
Hope u find someone 10x better.. And I'm sure u will...

:)
Stay happy k..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-01-18T22:48:00.001+08:00

Www.bloomstory.com

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-01-16T23:48:00.001+08:00

If I were a boy...

Or maybe it's jus ..

Freaking sian n bored ..

Hahaha
I'm suay Kia..

Wanna run away from here.. Hide from everyone.. N maybe then they will realise my impt..

But by then, I'm already goneeee

How to don't feel anything..
Backstabbed. Betrayed. Insignificant

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-01-15T00:06:00.000+08:00

dunno why.. super tired.

sian ..

2010-01-05T00:04:00.000+08:00

thanks for tryin :D

and yayyyyyy!
u all such a great help in helping me to spread.

loveeeessss

but im drowning in work!
:(
need to make it through need to make it through.

2010-01-01T21:35:00.002+08:00

hmmm fang qi says 'dun HOPE for a better year, do something about it'

well, its been a terrible 2009.
hahaa. understatement.
i think i sort of went through depression.
thank goodness it wasnt serious enough..

but anyway... thankiews for the people who have been there.
im very tempted to say a few nasty things.
but i shall refrain.

i googled the meaning of 'take for granted'

take somebody for granted to not show that you are grateful to someone for helping you or that you are happy they are with you, often because they have helped you or been with you so often
(http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/take+for+granted)

i think at some pt in time.. we've all taken somebody for granted.
but some people are more ok with it, some people are more sensitive.
u might think that im taking u for granted, but i could be thinking u are taking me for granted instead
how do we let the other party know?
by talking?
do people jus accept other people opinions that easily?
theres bound to be arguments..

so i think.
this year. i better do more self-reflection
though i would like to think i always try my best to self-reflect every now and then
esp when someone tells me off about something.
but i wish OTHER people would self-reflect too..
i wish some people would give themselves some time, to sit down and think
how they are treating other people,
how they are 'taking things for granted' and
how they can improve further.
doesn need to treat the whole world better,
just to those WHO matter.

thats what i believe in.
those who matter.
maybe thats why sometimes i suffer.
cause BY RIGHT,
its VERY NORMAL and therefore, RIGHT, to take people who are closer to us for granted.
and somehow, the sociologist in me, jus hates all these norms.
imma deviant.
hahhahahaaa.

recently somebody said something, 'how can you thnk like this, u should be feelingg this and not feeling that way, you dun belong to this era, you cannot survive in this world one'
funny, ive been thinking like tt the whole year.

welll.. jiayou everyone! :D

remember to support k!?

2009-12-28T18:07:00.002+08:00

omg! u bloggedd!
:))))))))

jiahui birthday

the preparors

the barbequers

ta-dah!

im hungry jus posting these pics..

birthday boy very shy to take pics.

GPALS day!
Newton Food Centre ---> Udders

i posed with a xmas tree this year!
hehehe

ANYWAY people..
pls support ! hehehe

http://handphone-accessories.blogspot.com/

thanks lots! :)

2009-12-27T03:06:00.002+08:00

At the moment, tired n sian.

I hate seeing so many green colour.. Like I'm so desperate like tt. Sometimes I dun wan to reply. Cux at least the last colour I see is grey.

Hahaa denial.

ZzzzzzZzzz

---------------------------

am at least starting le! yeah!

the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me.

2009-12-21T18:38:00.000+08:00

to see u cry....
i also heart pain.
sorry i cant do anything about it.
i will get it back for u k..

just give me some time.

2009-12-20T13:32:00.009+08:00

there are some people who went through the hard times with me
some who didnt..

next year. i hope to treat those who listened, who cared, who gave a damn about me, better.
there are some people i realise.. i jus cannot share my sadness with.
i can only go out, have fun and thats it.

and then there are people who, expects me to share their unhappiness, give in to their attitude, and when it comes to enjoyment, they find other people.

it gets really irritating sometimes.
so i'll start from myself.

hahaha amazingly, my mum told me the exact same thing.

I was so wrong for so long
Only tryin' to please myself (myself)
Girl, I was caught up in her lust
When I don't really want no one else
So, no I know I should of treated you better
But me and you were meant to last forever

[Hook]
So let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)
To really be your man
Cause when the roof cave in and the truth came out
I just didn't know what to do
But when I become a star we'll be living so large
I'll do anything for you
So tell me girl

[Chorus]
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say)
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
Of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say)
Wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say

love this song..

went to read angela's blog.
pat';s sis.. saw that there were updates... :)
its been so long..

think if i died?
after 3 years... anyone will even remember me?

----

:(

2009-12-19T11:44:00.001+08:00

:D

very busy trying to meet friends. but broke! damn it.

btu alas, i'm finally going to thread my eyebrows..

hopefully to post some videos and pics soon.

nowadays meet all nvr take pics. haha

2009-12-18T00:45:00.000+08:00

watched Feng Yun. not very nice. but dunno why still waiting for part 3

watched Ninja assassin. ahha also okok only. the effect abit too fake

watched case 39. haha okok also..

hmm why nowadays the movies not so nice ar.
maybe something wrong with me. haha

had a good time with pat jus now..
tmr off! yeah...
but 4e1 gathering cancelled.. :(

so see how lor..

2009-12-12T18:59:00.002+08:00

hai.

*piang piang piang piang piang*

2009-12-08T00:02:00.002+08:00

:)

so happy to see the letter.....
suddenly end of the year everything seems better.

are things gonna finally be better for me?
can i really be happier?
i really hope so.

Got time see the blog k?

faster eat fininsh or call me!!! i wan share with u good news!!

yeah man! gpals!!!! the WHOLE grp. FINALLY.
and i have one stupid pimple right in the middle of my forehead. yucks

i hope this dream never ends..

2009-12-06T16:26:00.004+08:00

haha who wants to go!!? :P
feel like going to Strip..

browhaus i alr have eye threading liaos.
i really super damn vain.
my vainess is causing me to be broke!

anyway gpals (maybe gals) this thurs! :D
tmr qi and shan!

seems like not a bad week....
and with darling now..
have to postpone my run though..
maybe next week ba..
paiseh anna :(

feeling damn fat.. mus try to be more discipline liaos..

2009-12-06T00:22:00.003+08:00

weeeeee.... darling's my lucky starrrr! :)

still being a 24hr xiao gf.
but not sticky sticky kind

anyway sian.
why some ppl hav 2 accounts. 2 active ones.
weird.
and why iphone also.
yucks yucks. saw something disgusting today.

super want to mJ! omg.
dunno why.. 2 weeks liao i think.

haha i wish the sweetness continues.. :)

but theres some stuff breaking down..
some people drifting..
i feel tired.. nowadays.
mentally..
work is jus part .. but OTHER THINGS..
yet, i shouldnt be complainig cuz i chose.

sometimes.. somethings are gone.. i try hard to get them back.
never blame anyone if things jus cant be the same.
cuz i chose. again.
although it hurts and i feel sad.. haha but somethigns are 2 way.
drift means drift.
not there means not there.

jiayou ba! :D

2009-12-05T00:18:00.001+08:00

:D

happy girl.
tmr doingg flag day~

so sweet nowadays.
thanks everyone for being there one way or another.

2009-12-01T17:16:00.003+08:00

i created a blog for him and me.. but i think.. its gonna be a flop. cuz he doesn know about it.
hahahaaaaa

Suddenly feel super useless.

emo day. still need to OT. arggghhhh

2009-11-25T20:52:00.004+08:00

and he is the one that will wash and blow dry your hair when you're dead tired. and he is the one that will stay up all night to check your temperature when you're sick. and he is the one that will hold on tightly to your hands, and whisper words of encourgement when you're fearing those obstacles in life. and he wil...l be the one, that will never fail to say " i love you " every single day.

i duno why.. but i feel so..
irritated and stress and tired.
lookin forward to see uuuuuuu :D

kenna arrow.
hais. dunno why.

may things remain well. friday is a holiday! i wan to slp more.. and gina on sat! omg.. finally :D

i hope ive been helping my friends well..
sorry if i cant really be there sometimes..

2009-11-25T10:41:00.002+08:00

love :)

been very tired lately..
OT the past 2 nights.. and more nights to come.

lookin forward to massage! :)

going HQ now.. freak it.

2009-11-19T23:25:00.007+08:00

KL trip with val on 5th Nov 2009

Val insisted that we took the bus to the monorail and then walk to our hotel.
so ta-da! ahaha well... we travelled for 1hour plus to our hotel.

KL Sentral ----->>> Bukit Bintang!

Hotel CaPITOL
somehow i dont really like the hotel. dunno why.. its okok actually. 100 a night though.

poor val coughing throughout the trip. so she needs plenty of water!

Nasi lemak.. quite yummylicious.. :D~

shop shop shop! then we head to sungei wang... 5plus and we're off to Berjaya Times Square..
ate Kenny Rogers.

we decide to take the monorail again!
Imbi --->> Bukit Bintang

we posed with our tickets hehe.

there was some celebration at 9plus 10pm when we were going back to hotel.
wooo.. if more people maybe could have seen the nightlife! :D

night view from our hotel room! quite nice eh! :D

dear valerie, always take so longggggggggggg in the bathroom. :P

checked out, breakfast at Pappa Rich. somehow i was craving for prata! damn it.
and some local food or u know.. those hawker or watever.
dunno why keep eating at these expensive places! argh.

one of the houses along jalan alor had these things hanging out

walk until feet damn pain.. bought until i had NO MONEY left. and back to LCC terminal. :)

i feel super bimbo when i read this..

yeah man. anyway i enjoyed! haha get away from singapore. see new kinda things.. go to the airport. buttttt i seriously would have enjoyed more if i was at some beachy resort i think. really different from sg. jeee.

but ive no friends.
haaha. and more imptly, no $$.

was thinking of doing something while in KL.
but.. think bettr not.
some people really .. hai.

i wish for more honesty..
wish for just you and me.. :)

but.. i also wan go taiwan, bkk to shop! :)
damn it. hahaah i jus love to get out of here.
someone pls give me money!

anyways... had my appraisal.
hmm not verrrryyyy welll of coz.
but.. some good things. so.. i guess it should be a confirm.
keep fingers crossed ba. :)

alot of craziness around me now. emo-ness and craziness.
im going crazy too..

cant wait to see u ..
im sorryyy... i know i always disturb u :X

its been good so far..
*pray*

2009-11-19T09:55:00.000+08:00

Everywhere I go.. See her face, someone looks like her.

The nose, hair, face shape.
Irritating.
I think I need to try harder somehow..

N freaking slpy. Dunno why..

Miss u ..
Sorry to disturb u..

N looking forward to meeting grace.

2012 was not bad... :) abit exaggerating... N the Russian pilot quite cute.. Hehe 2.5 hours..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2009-11-18T18:11:00.002+08:00

ive been happy the past few days.
so i wish things to stay the same :)

if theres anything that will hurt me again..
i hope i can get rid of it.
personally i wish to make someone disappear.
but i'm not so powerful nor i think its up to me
yes. coz i have no right to request for that.
so.. i have to live it.

i wish to get rid of the fear.
cuz i dun wan to create something out of nothing.
but tiny part of me will ask, 'is there really nothing?'
if there is something. pls go away. goooo farrrr farrr away..
no second time liao ok?

i wan go holidayy.. everyone is going holiday..

Btw, anyone wants to do flag day. 3 hours only. 5th december.
for a super good cause.
http://www.habitat.org.sg/

register with me k!
haha.. i not sure if i allowed to bring non-resident..
will discuss with my boss tmr.
hopefully he comes. looks like he wont be coming.. he sick..
if i sick. u all know why liao.

Deeparaya with eunos crescent RC on sunday. which means i have to work!
hooorrrayyyy!!!!
will take pics of my aunties performing.. :D
decorations need to be done, performance hopefully ok, tickets to give out, volunteers to arrange.

and jus finished typing minutes! omg. actually dont see i always slack slack. got lots to do
jus procrastinate sometimes and drown myself.
and always kenna aimmmmmmm....
next sat another meeting.. then got RBL.

but 2012 with fang qi later :)

thank you anna for the cookies! yummyyyyy :D

and i wan meet gina~~ wheres this busy girl.

next week even worse. start the outreach to 309 units at night!!!! so most of my nights will be burnttt.

advance happy birthday to my dearest dad. tmr he will be 59 years old.
next yr 60, mus celebrate big big.
so i mus save money!

appraisal very soon. think i will stay/go?
bonus how?
hais.

and some of my friends.
hais.
drift away.
nobody cares anymore i think.

it sucks to be the one who cares.

2009-11-13T13:30:00.001+08:00

Stupid teeth might cost me more money than expected.. Shit...

Later massage, meet eileen, jj, yanling.. Haha it's a good off day.. Tmr mahjong.. Sunday jogging with Anna, monday gawp :)

Hehe feel happier.. Some work stuff to clear on Monday..

Hope the something I'm worried about is actually nothing..
It's abit fishy..

And looking forwrd to tues! :)

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Trying very hard

2009-11-11T23:44:00.000+08:00

Dunno to be happy or sad about yest.

I hope u didn't lie. At least now we can resolve things together.
If u did,we will jus be stuck.

Maybe really can start again..
Need time n patience..
U willing?

Haven post pics yet. Will do so
Soonn... :)

Need to forget

2009-11-09T18:26:00.003+08:00

i'm starting to hate birthdays.
i'll try to change next yr.
but this year.
i hate birthdays.
every birthday that i celebrated reminds me of how sucky my day went

Hai .. I need to forget all this..
How

2009-11-08T22:44:00.001+08:00

Back from kl! :) hahaha not bad.. Except I think would be better if 3d2n at a resorty place.. Away from city and so maaanny ppl...

Mj right after that.. Shiokk! :)

Watching chelsea vs man u soon! :)

I feel happy. But I know there's something. There's jus something..

I hate ppl who lie.
I hate ppl who treats me with no respect.
I hate ppl who take me for granted

Gosh work tmr.. Need to start finihing some stuff :)

Always alone....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2009-11-05T10:49:00.003+08:00

i hate her.

i hate it that i dunno whats going on..
good la.
good for u
if its wat u want then wat can i do right...

argh. forget it...

i feel like getting out of here. 1 year 2 years.
so many sad things
its not like anyone will care right. or anyone notice my absence

yeah

2009-11-02T22:31:00.002+08:00

damn it la

my phone went bonkers.

called to ask u for help.
wrong timing...
everything gone sia!! except for my contacts.

:) was happy the past few days..
I'm afraid I can't be too happy..
Cuz somehow something mus upset me.. Hai..

Looking forward to fri!!!

2009-10-28T23:05:00.003+08:00

tired.

super busy past few days and tired.
foot spa was okok only for me..

read the email.

2009-10-28T01:31:00.001+08:00

Lonely. Confused. Tired.

:) meetings n meetings.. Need massage,..

Went little vietnam to eat again.. Haha wan intro Simon to the waitress.. She really lik damn sweet.

Saw kelvins gf.. She didn't pour acid on me. Hahaha *phew*

Foot spa tmr with pat! :D

Meeting in the morning again.. Siannnnzzz..
These few days drink beer.. Still prefer cocktail kind.. Now they auto count me in when drinking le..

I know u upset to lose ur phone.. Hai.
Hopefully iPhone can allow u to restore..

:)

Love is just to make us suffer

2009-10-25T01:57:00.001+08:00

What I wan to say is I miss u..

But I dun wan to say it cuz I dun wan to ruin everything..

I good girl u good boy.. Can we keep it that way?

Kl soonnnnn!!!!! 6th nov morning fly, 7th night back. :) haha manage to get Val.. Hoepfukly save more money and go othr places! After the dentist la. Hai.......

:)

2009-10-24T21:39:00.003+08:00

yeah. jus reach home.. dinner with my mum..

had vietnamese food recently.
all thanks to my colleague and his 'little vietnam'
at Grandlink.. not bad la.. haha..
ate sea snails (!) and tried some interesting stuff..
the noodles not bad..

jo says will bring me to eat mexican food.. hopefully it happens!

hais... my teeth costing me alot of money..
am thinking if i should get another tuition kid.
$$$$$$$$... sian.

ive got presentation on monday! to Management Committee.. stress.
arrow by my boss.
argh.
lucky i ask him go througgh with me.. but left notes in the office. so tmr gotta go back and take..

pics! 3rd October esplanade outing.. i think i will not disclose the resident names, not that its impt anyway. its jus funny calling them resident 1 2 3... but oh well.
i'm proud of myself.. hahaa i manage to remember quite a number of them.

giving out name tags, mooncake goodie bags..
(L-R) Jumaeh (colleague's husband), Halifah (colleague), Me, Leena (volunteer), resident1, resident 2

now u all will know who i'm talking about ... :P
anyway i just found out yest that Leena is 72!!!!! damn ittt... can i look like tt when i'm 72?

Mr Tan, one of our photographers, resident

my aunties singing along, all super high one.. dont look down on them k..

Halifah, Jumaeh, Ah Kok, Me, Lian-jie.

Ah kok keep wanting to lean towards me.... haha super bth him. but hes verrryyyy verrry nice.
just a tad too loud.. need to control him.. hai. volunteer management :(

Jumaeh, Halifah, Auntie Jenny (Lian-jie's sister), Fauziah, Mr Gan (Auntie Jenny's husband), Noormah.
Jamilah, Me.

Jamilah insisted that we took a picture together.. haha shes a frail old lady.. but no worries.. not wheelchair bound.. shes jus.. abit.. what teochew call 'yang-o' and wan people to sayang her..
cause she used to be a Malay actress..
had the privilege of visiting her house one day and saw her old pictures..

http://houseword.sg/newsletter/200907/taking_care_of_our_heartware.php --> got an article about our Tembusu Neighbourhood Link (TNL)!

Jamilah, me.

haha my resident put the 'lanterns' on her ears.. they really funny sometimes.
do all sorts of nonsense..

2009-10-24T12:52:00.002+08:00

at work now.. :P

tired cuz nto enugh slp.
but happy cuz of the reason that i'm not having enough slp :)

i met my ex yest.
at eunos mrt platform.
jus like tt.. i walked up the escalator.
turned. and ta-da there he was.
haha. of cuz i walked up and said hi.. haha

cuz i'm forgiving and, such a long time liao.. and nothing le ba
haah. he told me he quit smoking half a year le..
which i am happy for him as a friend..
he used to tell me he will give up for me.. (of coz he didnt, i'm not so silly)
but i always feel u should do it because u want to.
then the motivation is there, and u know its for U.

watched 500days of summer yest.. not a bad show i mus say..
the way they film and all...
in a way the ending kinda sucked... but haha life is really like tt

continue when i reacxh home :P

2009-10-23T01:19:00.002+08:00

u proved me wrong :)

2009-10-19T23:38:00.001+08:00

stop playing with me..
stop.

why cant u jus tallkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

argh..

2009-10-18T16:24:00.003+08:00

I'm amazed at how sshameless I am. Hahahaha

Why u still dun wan talk about things....
U laughing at my stupidity and my shamelesness right..

Y love can be so blind?
Haha I like pain.. I siao already

but u can love someone like crazy.. u can also hate someone like crazyy...

if ever one day.. i start to hate u..
i mus really salute u. haha

how long can i continue being like tt?
how long u wan me to be like tt?
even if u wan to pretend nothing has happen.. let me know.
but i KNOW. ure not really ok yet...
then wth. jus tell me la.
if u wan tell me actions speak louder than words.. i dunno. i'm scared...

1132pm.

missed u. went to look at the msgs u sent me...
the last time i saw 'love' was 19jul2009 3.47am....

feels like a long time ago..
i remember i went ktv with gary pat willie.. and u asked me where to eat around there..

6 sep u sent me a heart.. doest that count?

no msg, nothing from u..
and the game continues..
im always the loser..
dun wan to feel anything.. i dun wan to feel anythingg..

2009-10-17T00:06:00.003+08:00

very long never ktv liao i realise.

its really easier to be the selfish one.
u dun feel anything for others..
u dun get hurt.
u only get to hurt people.
u do things the way u want.
there will always be someone willing to compromise..

but the worse thing is.. i cant even be selfish.
i cant do it.
sure i get angry and all..
but jus let it out and things go back to normal...

somehow i dun belong to this world..

hmmm anyway.. ddamn damn damn. spending alot of money on dentist.
went for massage today... to pamper myself.. and manicure..
now i need to start saving le..
i dun wan to wear dentures at such a youngg age!
but where am i gonna get the money?

i'm all alone in this war..
are u in or out?

i miss the days when we were poor, miserable .. because i was happy then.
now i'm carrying the braun buffel bag u gave me, lv wallet u gave me..
but somehow i'm not happy at all... we're not happy ..
can i return these things? because i would rather have my happiness back..
they dont mean a thing to me.. if theres no u..

going 大家唱 at night.. :)

i suddenly feel like drinking again..