oh yeah man. having a one week break. ahhaha decided to use this SUPER KAWAII skin. :P

jus for a while la.. i do still like my previous skin. :)

1. send resumes.
2. get my ass to recruit express
3. meet some friends.
4. NOT TO ASK STUPID questions (curiosity kills the cat)
5. not to sms until my thumb pain :X
6. JOG! 3 times this week :) / self-invite to pat's gym :)
7. NO shoes this week.
8. read finish my bloody book/get my ass to the library


hahaa seems like my ass will move around for quite abit.

btw... my friend's blogshop --> vontrose.livejournal.com :) do support support.. eileen is the model! hehee

haha. tell you all something.. which i should have known long ago. or i shouldnt have taken for granted...

humans are so unpredictable.
one moment, he claims to love you. he swears to everyone, to god, to you.. that he loves only you. he tells you even if the whole world dont wan you.. he will be there for you.
he tells you he will work hard for a future together.
he calls you his future wife. he tells you he is going to marry you. might not be the age that you want. might be later.


and you think... ok.. where on earth you gonna find such a guy? so successful, sweet, loving, caring and wonderful. you think it doesn matter that we marry young old, as long as we're together. you're unsure of the future, but you know both of you are working towards that common goal. he build his career, you build yours and in the end, build a family together. maybe lucky can even be tai tai. but then again, so boring. you think if he could love you all these years, he could love you forever.

and so you fall.. you lean.. you believe.. you think.. your life is so wonderful.
some problems here and there. big and small quarrels here and there. cursing and swearing here and there. crying and shouting here and there. but somehow you know that at the end of the day, you will grow up, be more understanding, try harder and compromise for the better future.


the next moment, he decides. he wants to break up. he cant stand you anymore. everything is wrong. you are wrong, direction is wrong. goals are wrong. and u think. what happened? and u think and think.. and maybe u finally start to understand what happen.. its too late.. u try to tell him that you understand certain things were your fault. that you shouldnt have done this shouldnt have done that. and u tell him that you know what has happened and you will change. and you think he would have used the time to think about it too. but he's scared now. he's lost. stressed. he doesn know what he should do.

he tells you he still loves you but theres something wrong. and you think. if two people really love each other, they should try to work things out together. because this is how they become stronger together. but then, things alittle bit more complicated. and you try to blame him, hate him. but you cant. cause you were in the wrong too. and you accept it. you think that you accept it and you show him how much thought, care, and love you have put into the relationship, he might want to try. he might wan to slowly try and talk about things.

and now you dunno.. he seems tired.. and you hope that somebody will finally call you for an interview. that you will get a job soon. at least get something right and moving in your life. and that you will prove to everyone that you are heading back into the same direction already. you got lost for a while and you want to head back to that same direction. the future that u imagine,but its too late you wonder? yes most definitely, i will move on with career and all.. but when two people still love each other is anything ever too late?

hais. i really hope when i get my first job. you will be there. to celebrate with me. to share this joy with me.. i hope you will be strong and face this with me. but i can only hope.. i greedy.. i wan a job, to feed my family, to able to go shopping, to eat good food once in a while, pamper myself with spas and manicures, travel. i want my friends who are always there to listen to my nonsense, to encourage me, to show me love anytime and even though they feel like scolding me, they cant. or they scold me because i deserve to be scolded. i wan my family to be living happily, to be supportive of each other. and last of all, i wan you too. :D because all of you make me happy. anyone/anything lesser i really will try to fight my way to win it back. cause i love and treasure all these things.


selfish/crazy/stubborn/delusional/confused.

can somebody ask him to dun tok to me.. we jus broke up.. i dunno why u msg me and tok to me and irritate me all the time. ever since SH. arghh.. when i and him together also never see u online tok to me.. (or maybe i jus didnt notice? hmmmm....)




happy birthday to my dear willie..

thank you for being there..

wont be deleting the blog. keep watever memories that we have. in my heart.. i know.

but everyone pray for me i get a job k!!!!
jeee.. now jus looking for some administrative stuff de.. most of them HR de..
hope i get the MOE one..

hope py upload the pics for her birthday celebration.. hehe then i can put here.. so pictureless. tsktsk

well.. things are still not so good.

first of all, i'm still jobless. but working at pat's place for a while.. hopefully, do my resume and send out will have some response :( but i'm procrastinating. jus so much to type the resume.. and need to think.. of how to phrase .. so that it doesn sound lame.

2nd of all, relationship wise.. there but not there.. i hoped it would be like what it used to be. as in the sweet msgs, the calls here and there.. but i'm not getting much responses unless its a question and ans msg. well.. better than nothing? at least i know we're meeting next week.. but i'm not hoping that its suddenly all gonna be ok. ya
maybe slowly..

well well well.. who would have thought.. jus look at 2 posts ago. i had a job.. a relationship that was quite crazy at times.. but nonetheless, we tried to work things out..

i do have my friends.. thanks very much for being there.. for the past 1 week plus. listening to my complaints, my stupid voice, my demoralised face.. helping me stand up.. and taking the time off to accompany me..
and spending abit more time with my family.. coz i'm mostly at home..

but i still miss u.. i cant believe i dun dare to call u now. i need to think 10 times before i msn u, msg u.. i need to tell myself to cool down everytime i dun see a reply and when there is a reply.. to not expect much.. coz it might be something polite.. and not lovey-dovey like they used to... for me its difficult... i dunno about u.. i trying not to think so much till next week..

of coz.. moving on.. i hope i'll be able to get a job.. soon. and also secure the relationship.. i'm greedy. i want both at the same time.. but sometimes.. i'm at a lost.. i dunno what you want, what the job wants, what the world wants..

thanks everyone for your time and ur ears. :)
i dont know how it will end up to be..

hopefully my next post will be a good one. with my r/s back and work back on track..