i was disappointed to find out. angry and hurt.
but stilll.. i cant do it. every part of me ached. but i cant.

and i jus needed someone to be there.. dont need to hear much. dun even need to know what happened. but jus get out of my hse..

i really dunno how much stronger i can be..
how much more time i can give.
i jus dun wan any more lies, they hurt me the most. they make me think alot of negative stuff. about u. about us.
and the more i wan to give up.
i'm selfish i know. i also dun wan to pressure u.
i dun wan to be the source of ur stress and unhappiness.. :)

hmm ok. away from topic...
some pictures finally!

after val and i watched departures. and walk about peoples park and had dessert!
i walked maui with val!
i should take pictures of maui next time too




then met pat at iluma on monday! :)
they were giving out flyers.. its at the 5th floor. on the right of the arcade. 20% discount.




alright man. going present huntin later with lijia hehe. shes so nice. last min jio her she will try to make it.
trying to make these few days abit packed. anyway weekends are the times when my friends are free. :)

cheers to man utd for winning the arse! they could have scored more!!!

i do think some pple need to go through somethings alone. like grace said.
i dunno which one am i. because there are times i do need pple to jus complain complain and cry to. but i feel that its really not nice to disturb pple with the same problem all over again. the friends jus become very weary. and everyone have their own problems.
so i've come to jus accept that sometimes we can bawl everything out to our friends, when they have the time. and its definitely good that there are friends to jus listen. or jus willing to sit there with u. no need say anything. jus hug u and let u cry. or jus have a drink.

but i also enjoy the times where i can jus be by myself. think about things. write them down somewhere and sort things out. my very very impt alone time. maybe not working. so really have too much alone time.
my apologies to pple who i keep disturbing over the past month.

i've had my good days and my bad days. and i thank ya all. for being there in anyday of my life.
there are really times when i think i bother these particular person too much. i jus think i need to go bother someone else. its not you, its jus me. i know the world doesn revolve around me and most of the times, the conclusion is. up to myself. so i really find myself quite irritating too. haha.

anyway, the things i've said. are for YOU.
YOU may feel that ure one of the friends i bothered, or u may be one of the friends who wanted to reach out to me but i didnt react in the way you wanted. but you should also appreciate differences between people, how they listen, how they deal with ur problems and their problems and then appreciate the attention that you have already..

sorry everyone, abit emo these few days.

today did something.. maybe i too free. but i jus wanted to do it.
i would be labeled as 'stupid' by many people.
but then i really was happy to do it. i didnt expect anything in return.

i think everyone should go watch Departures!!
its a really really really nice, touching and wonderful movie. :)

sunday afternoon and its raining.. sian.
still headache but at least i slept at 2plus 3 yest. but really tired la
met val at 1030 at PS lor.. and i slept at 5 the night before. woke up at 8plus.
cant slp nowadays. dont know why. think sick. then i feel very hot and bothered. then take afternoon naps and so at night even more cant slp.
and i call him. find someone chat with me at 3plus am. but mistake. terrible terrible mistake.

y cant i jus enjoy what i have with you right now..
why i mus try so hard to communicate.

but then again. what do i really have with you?

hmmm dunno why.. not feeling too good nowadays.. keep wanting to slp also. feel very restless..
headache.. cannot let my parents know though. they will nag me again. haha. most prob bar me from going out. i feel like cycling suddenly. but i think after my massage ba

:D

sorry lijia couldnt go ur convo.. congrats! we'll meet for dinner k..

hmmm.. i cant help but feel abit weird. and emo and happy at the same time.
u think its possible?

omgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

vivian dawson is soooooooooo cuttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. :D~~~~

get CLEO today to see his amazing smile, very very nice abs and jus wah la. :D

god. today is 13th. :)

sometimes i think if i jus keep slimming down will i jus *poof*. jus for a while. would be quite fun. :)

and something damn funnine happen.
one day i open the letter box. then i received a mail from the police addressed to my sis.
OMG WHAT SHIT THING DID LEE PEI SHAN DID AGAIN.
i slipped the letter under her door. then went to bed.

next day, i saw the letter lying carelessly on a table. i wanted to hide it. then jolene saw.. and told me what happened...

she said geraldine very angry at 8am. go and scream at my mum, "mummy u wan me to go to jail ar!"
hahahaa then of coz i even more confused. my elder sis is more of the criminal in our house. what did my mum do man?
then i read the letter. apparently my mum has been making nusiance calls to the POLICE! ahahaha she dunno how to lock her fone, or her fone cannot lock... so the police send my sis the warning coz line under my sis name. and state the times and dates that the nuisance calls were made. poor police officer. and poor sis.

and i cannot help but luff. haahhaa imagine my sis go to court. so poor thing right. hahaa such a silly family. hahaha

i noe this is a outdated news already. but i jus watched oprah. so wowowowowow. pause my music k. :D

16 years old Charice. :D





haha today met py, lijia and xq to get py present. yes. we still owe her. but didnt get anything. i bought earrings!


hey.. thanks. :D i realised maybe i abit too emo. ahhaa will push u away further i think. what a dumb thing. i should be strong..

yest was emo day. i abit lagging. after all that happened. haha i think i know what i should do le. actually i always knew it wont work out in the end i guess. i just feel bad i guess... but i tried. one month. i really tried. hais.

went vivo yest. to wan to catch Knowing. but reached there. sold out. wooo. haha so decided to go for some food at Frensh again. ahha wan try their other stuff.. but i think the corsica, not very nice. dunno why. the ham too tasty for my liking.

met him to pass him the starhub voucher. his fone spoil liao. learnt that his partner got a new gf already. so out of his life right now. i always tot gf not allowed when working. i guess its only ADELINE not allowed. funny. i was with him. when we bought the fone. i still remember he msg me.. "u are the first one to receive a msg from my new fone. youre alway special".. i'm happy i still can be of some help in ur life though. sorry to force u to care about me.

anyway went to the new mall at Tampines. Tampines1. faint. hahaa the colour of the building looks sucky. but ok la.. super super packed. didnt really enjoy the atmosphere.. think mus really wait till the crowd clear then can go there and really shop. haha

didnt bring camera out. so no pics this time :)

hahaa yest met pat for lunch. had lovely dimsum. nice nice.. we only managed ONE PIC.
and some pics from our lousy dinner. :D


then took a bus to taka, met clement at 4plus at coffeeclub express. reached home quite happy with my day and knowing that i'll be home alone and can enjoy time to myself.

but managed to sing ktv! :DDDD realised the party world one closed sia.. then lucky got kbox :) never been so alert at 5am before. aha but it gotta end somehow. maybe i made a mistake.. maybe i didnt.. but everything didnt end too well i think. but i'm glad we met k.. i hope you're happy that we met too.

if ure reading this.. pls remember to drink more water. haa. and wash ur face.. and slim down. haha. :D

i'm sorry about what happened in the end though.. i wished i could have done something. to avoid seeing that look on ur face. u dont know how much it pains me to see it. u dun worry about it k..

why no callsssssssssss

OK. suddenly i have so many things to update right.
hahaha actually i jus come to say something

yest i bought my levi's. yesh. jobless woman buying levis. but i realy need a good pair of jeans.

so anyway the promo is like tt

if ure between the ages of 16-24, go buy a levi jeans and they give u discount of (ur age x2) :)
the salesman tell me he give me max discount of 24x 2. so a 139.90 jeans became 91.90. :)

but.... i saw it at tamp lady's levis. and heeren one. and i heard taka dun have this promotion. so to be safe. go to the heeren outlet k! anyway their sales pple verrrrry verrryyy nice. i mus have tried about 9 jeans. hahaa then actually still wanted to try somemore. but we didn eat dinner. and almost 10pm liao.. so hahaa pat will kill me :X

ok. then we had dinner. but was at coffeclub express.. (both of us nearly died yest btw) .. and the drinks sucks. DUN ORDER iced passion tea, ice lemon tea and minty lychee. the food okok only la.. and swensens i think close down liao! the one near the paragon there. omg..
the last time i went there i remember the customer shouting shouting at the management.

met xq jus now.. but wasnt feeling well.. so abit moody. haha hope she dont think its got to do with her. hahaa but tamp mall kopitiam got panggang already! :DDDD

and i am still buying clothes!! stop me!

PY 23rd Birthday @ Frensh (Vivo)








last sunday went to the Asian Civilisation Museum with Val.. funnily didnt take pics with her. too absorbed in the Kangxi Exhibition. hehe..






yippeeeeeeee i finally know how to cycle!!!!!!!!! hahahahaa. so proud of myself. almost knocked into 2 pple. but theirrrrrrrrr fault for not siam-ing me. ahahaha i should probably wear something on my head that puts BEWARE. he says i should put a P plate. hhahahaha
ate the Hawker centre food. TOOO hungry that we gobbled the food up without taking pics. :P but we shared seats with entertaining ppple. haha walked like mad... but glad i spent time with that busy busy busy girl :D


hahaha and i hope guan yin really will Help me. haha :D enjoyed my sunday as well.. but no pics.
cant wait for shopping with pat later. haha.. need some new jeans and clothes as always.

kinda realised somethings.. while toking to erquan
dunno why. hit me these few days. thhink these few days ba. or for a while le..
and it doesn matter. coz its still too late. haha

hurts to feel like strangers..


CLEAR HEAD CLEAR HEAD

met pearlyn! didnt take pictures though.. jee its like no chance la.. i met her late.. then we jus blah blah blah blah... until i think take camera out like abit lame. hahaa anyway we ate at Coca resturant. steamboat buffet but... i didnt eat much la. very 'bo wa' to treat me eat buffet one. u will heart pain.. then head over to paulaner (opposite suntec) for a drink. hehe talk abit crap abit. didnt meet any cute guys though. haha. the band was ok ok la. then i went home le. hhopefully meet again.. i realise i got alot of pple to treat when i get my pay. :X the list getting longer somehow.

later goingg cycling at ECP and meeting jo .. bowling. haha. THIS ONE i will try to take pics. very long never take pics with val le. pray i dont roll down the slope k. :(

getting lousier sia. one tequila sunrise and super long phone call. and my head feelingg heavy and all. hopefully dun sick.. i still wan to enjoy tml. :D


THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR BEING

THERE IN WHATEVER

WAY WHEN I NEEDED YOU GUYS.

LOVE ALL OF U. :)


ok.. i post some pics next post. :)

btw.. something hit me yest as i was going down from kinokuniya. i burst out laughing.
i remember buying a GPS for jingyuan last dec as christmas present. cause i know that he goes malaysia. and he as directionless as me. haaha maybe even singapore also some roads hard to find. and i wanted to buy a good and practical present. something he will use. i bluffed him that it was gary who needed to use the GPS. haha and i walk Funan IT Mall dunno how many times. true enough.. after i bought him the GPS. he really keep going Msia. hahaa so i practically helped him to go over there to enjoy himself. while i stayed at home thinking if he was safe, fooling around or wat. and he keep telling me that ohhh really miss me and all.. but dun wan to take my calls... how stupid am i?

well.. like he said. everything is really over. but like he said too. we can still meet up and all. if it works again.. in the future. if it doesn.. i wonder if anything that he said is true..

CLEAR HEAD CLEAR HEAD. shit...... i need to tell him something tml. think he'll be upset. but i wan to be honest. :\


curiousity kills the cat, honesty kills the rat.. hahaha super lame.

cant believe i travelled 2 hours to sembawang because i feel like it. :X
wonder if it was the right move..
I NEED TO keep a clear head.
but i can feel abit of the teaching thing coming back again.. thanks to u..

i swear this is gonna be the last few times.. i'm gonna tok about it..

the past adeline.. pre-jingyuan adeline.. always built a wall. between whoever she likes and herself. she was scared of committing and getting hurt. coz she knows herself well. she will get hurt. so that pre-jingyuan adeline hurt pple. or even when she was dumped by that one little ass.. it didnt take her long to recover. sure she was upset because of the way it ended. she did think all men were assholes. but she never really became too bothered about it. now hes jus known as the asshole who dumped her.

gone on plenty of dates and jingyuan showed up. he didnt noe i guess. but once he showed up.. everyone started to disappear.. i was quite sure that we were gonna be together.. had to ask myself.. i hurt him previously.. do i wan to commit this time? cannot be too selfish? then i told myself yes. think i'm ready. so i smashed that stupid wall. because he is yeo jingyuan. because i believed in him. because i think. 2nd try means we really got fate and i should stop fooling around. because i can see he really loves me..

and now i feel stupid.. and i think its time to build back the wall.. because i cant afford to become like tt anymore. lousy timing again i guess. :)
i wonder how many lousy timings can we afford. and how many more heartaches i can endure.

move on adeline move on.
will reconsider the teaching thing again. because really fed up with the complains that my tuitees give about their teacher. my sis also complain... hahha.

tomorrow meeting pearlyn!! :) i missed my siao zarbo! good to noe she still as crazy as ever. haha. maybe take pics with her tml... jus have to think of where to eat now. and mus ask food expert. PAT. haha

anyway, think i stubborn. stubborn to the extent that pple think i childish.
not indept. immature. maybe thats why.. he .. aha..

tired..