jus came back from dinnerr...
not bad. haha
very full... and see everyone happily eating together. :D

thank u govt for the gst credits.

qi says i sound very happy but my blog sound emo..

hmm .. today is happy day :D
coz pay day and gst credits!!! whoppie.
but i can smell busy-ness coming. :D

tmr meeting.. hahaa listen to complaints again :X
and i wan to register for license! :O

andy in the quarters..

and why we stopped taking pics already!? omg.. i need some pics here.. its getting boring..

hais.

i'm supposed to be feeeling happy and blissful right.
but overreacted about something.
so not so happy now.
faith. contentment.
why do i always fall short of ur expectations?
is i'm not good enough? or ur expectations too high?

and i'm glad my friend seems better :D

andy in the 4th round liao!! yipeee.. ivanovic too. :) gonna watch tennis later...

i think u have motives.
i dun trust u.
u have alot of 小动作. and i know u did certain things on purpose.
but i'm not supposed to 胡斯乱想。i'm supposed to trust. and i will.
i always have faith. i am so 死缠烂裆.. that i'm amazed at how thick my skin can be. haha

i seem to have everything now... but i really fought hard to get these things. i suffered, endured, cried, scream, shouted and sacrificed certain things.. to come to this pt. to start things over again. with a job, with family, with friends, with him.
i never tot it was going to be easy. but i jus hope the effort.. no matter how big or small is appreciated.
and pls be contented with who i am.
be happy that u have me, as a friend, sister, daughter and gf.

i'm tryin to improve myself. as a whole..

i want to watch transformers. dun think its possible until thurs. haha.
i wan to stop hearing hurtful stuff.
i wan to stop being reminded of how lousy i am.
and i hate having periods.. they make me cranky, moody and emo-ish.

i'm now in charge of the Games Club and Dance Club! :)
mus introduce new games to them... hehe
dialogue session.. weekly visiting.. charts.. meetings... trainings.
god.

i hope u call me back.

ive got my fone le!! :) thanks darling!

gonnna have meeting to discuss about workload and stuff later..
wonder how will things go from here.. haha get to do new things liao..
and met val for lunch :D

hais. why lehs. dun tell me i misunderstand everything again?
everytime i see something that reminds me.. i get really moody.
i dun wan let it get to me. but it does. i hate it when i am affected by all these things.
but tired of these rollercoaster rides. but i dunno how to say also. i'm worried about what will happen if i were to voice out these things..

is this feeling going to haunt me forever?

suddenly i feel very tired of all these wars. i need something simple. plain. i need to believe again.

the more i see the thing. the more i think.. 'what is ur motive?' and 'what do you expect me to reply?'

but well.. i duno. i shouldnt be thinking about it. shouldnt let it affect me. alot of things affecting me lately. maybe its gonna be better from now on le..

anyway share with u all good news! hahaha first time in my life i strike 4d. ibet la.. first prize though :) bought 1307 .. the week before.. haha

yesterday went ikea to buy furniture! ahha not much la.. but wanna go make the furniture and all. hehe like my own room.. half house :) so exciting.

full of smiles today. pls dun spoil my happy mood anyone.

and i wan to help a friend. but i can only do/say so much. REN ok. :)

hmmm
a week plus already.
so far 2 quarrels within the elderly.
big big problem that my boss will have a big big headache with.

2 colleagues leaving on thurs. :(
means loads more work for me. and alot of things to learn and nobody to ask questions.
quite like my colleagues. no politics here..
its the elderly who are playing the politics. hahaa

today physically tired day. went chinatown with the ahmas to pack goodie bags for this sat event.. so their back not so good ma.. alot of things that require bending i do la. haha until now back abit pain. but doesn matter. we weere super fast!!!
and i very proud of my ahmas. they didnt create any trouble. all very cooperative and nice.
some language barrier between me and them.
got this little boy supposed to help refill the stuffs.
then he exclaimed , 'wah finish already ar!'
then i say, ' of coz.. all do very fast one ok. dont look down on them'
hahaa then one of the auntie was like 'ya la! we old but still very good ok.. who say we not good'
:D
yeahs. although its not considered some professional job.. but they are not useless. :)

and i would like to say again. busy busy weeks ahead... but my social life seems not bad.
friday meeting 4e2 pple @ jian house..
next sat should be meeting GAWP.
trying to organise a GPALS meeting. but like super tough. maybe after next week..




@ Marina Mandarin
super exp also! gina decorate until the room so prettyy... flower petals and candles..
such a sweet gf. hehe :)
and of coz... mr yeo jingyuan was like.. "wahhhh pple gf soooooo gooooddddd"
(i act blur)

Toa Payoh.
hahaha basically quite botak la.
already got some stuff stash here and there.. opps.
think furnish it abit more, will take pics again.
can see the BEFORE and AFTER!




@Hog's Breath Cafe








the fish and chips okok only. the chicken chop also..
quite like the calamari..


yes. he cannot peeel his eyes away from his comic... haha. poor fella is sick.. tsktsk..

hmmm pretty upset about certain things. sometimes i really dunnno how to look the other way. or react the correct way.. haha.. i'm wanderingg aimlessly...

repressed. i cant say a word. depressed but whats the pt in crying.
why make it so hard..




i'm really happy to have pple who will tell me to BREATHE, REN, CALM DOWN and DUN THINK SO MUCH.
thanks very much. u know who u are. hahaa if these words u say before to me.... then its U! :D

3rd day at work!

hmmm so far.. been not doing much. orientation. and dun have my desk. so look abit pathetic sometimes. but actually quite abit of stuff to do. physical as well as mental la.
these few days abit more physical coz move things, walk here and there.
think today more fruitful. i actually visited the rental flats.
and get to talk to the elderly abit.

we visited those who are living alone. the first guy had gout and come back from hospital. he has a malay name. but he is soooo fluent in hokkien. ya. but his fly was unzipped. and he not very hygienic so theres a smell.. but he dun understand english ma. so the bags and bags of medicine.. we have to cut and help him to differentiate the times taken, timing to take. w/o pple to volunteer or social workers or companies like us.. i think this pple will jus die alone and body rot also dunno people will know anot..

another guy is blind.. and can see very happy to see us.. and was like singing singing hokkien song. coz the other 2 colleagues i was with.. leaving.. then he upset.. he ask them 'why u leaving?' , 'u angry with me ar?' and he keep asking.. u really leaving ar?
and i think my colleagues and him sort of have a misunderstanding before.. and he was like.. 'is it because that time i ask u to do this for me?' and hes like

they also have feelings..
even though they old and deemed as useless but they still have feelings.
the working world might have deserted them, but they still belong to society..

hais.. and i'm at a loss.
and i gonna be freaking damn busy.

i wanna make things clear first.
i dun mind the little slp.
bus 26 goes to my work place.

weird. person that i wan concern from.. nothing. person that i think shouldnt be involved.. want themselves to be involved. hais.

and omg. pls i dun have to report to u. if i bad mood, i dun wanna tell u.. u cant force it out lehs. and who cares who i tell first? as in. i have the right who i tell my troubles too.

everyone.. stop quarrelling already. stop it. why cant we look at the person's good pts. magnify the good pts and minimise the bad pts. appreciate the good, focus on it. i'm trying. very hard to do this.. but certain bad things.. has happened already. i need alot alot alot of strength. really need alot.

pls dun make it any worse for me already.



一厢情愿.

omg. i read my posts i get more depressed. i'm so sorry people.
especially those who have seen my happy side for the past 2 weeks...

i think will be a while more.
try to update about my job the next few days. hehe

hope a miracle happens.

hais. ruined it again.

i love u very much.

thats all i want to say.

u all want to know who is an idiot. me.
biggest idiot in the whole world.

read somethings and believed them. and was quite happy. i tot i really able to get through it. and be truly and totally happy.
that is worth it.. the scoldings, the quarrels, the disapproving looks, the little enlightenment that i have here and there.

for once in the past few months.. i feel that my life is gonna get better.
got my job. got someone to treat me nice.
grandma passed away but she did live till 84.

and then i realise that i have to take a step back.
that the happiness might be all fake.
that i'm holding on to something that not meant to be mine?

was really very happy.
for the past 2 weeks. no tears.
even though my grandma passed away. had ur support, had my moments of sadness. but my family there, friends there, u there.

i slept at 7plus? woke up at 9plus 10.. couldnt slp. stomach rumbling and cant eat. i really not on purpose.
look on the bright side, time to lose another few kilos. one day i might poof into thin air. and that will be the happiest day of my life.

hmm one week. alot of things happen.
i from happy to sad, sad to happy, and happy to sad again.

my grandma passed away. jus like that. i dun even know what to say. she was admitted on sunday due to chest pain. doctor say lung infection. monday i went to see her. alright. can talk.. say wanna go home.. but fever. tues unconcious and thats it. just like tt. i was on the cab on my way. and jus likt that. i didnt even get to see her before she left.

then during the wake. received a call. ive got the job! next week should be start work le. actually supposed second round but the director sick. so they decided to skip the second round and hire me! :DDDDD but have to do medical check up.

then upset again.

super sian.

haha pics!

very random la..


from HK









GAWP went to Manupuku at Tampines1.






i dyed and highlighted my hair! ... no more blackie blackie. and cut my fringe! god.



:D second interview soon! hope i get the job kkkkkk pls.

anyway. ive been very happy recently

haha just when i wanna say ive been very happy.. i felt a pinch of sadness.
i wonder how long it will take.