hais.

i know its already been a few weeks but i still irritaated . maybe im too senstive but i really think its insincere and theres a motive behind it.

i already said im sorry, theres no need to rub it in and make me feel that its really my fault.
argghhh i jus need to blah it out! dun think any of u will understand unless you saw it.
but i dun like people doing this!!!!!!

it jus feel so fake and ok lor. i fake with u lor.
but wth.
esp when i think of people who say she is nice.

i noe i noe i noe.
heck care.
dun be too sensitive.
dun bother.

but im happier now. :D
so most of the time, these things fade to the back..
but of coz.. there are times.. when i think back..
i cant help but wonder..

well anyways, i wanted to complain about my work too.
but i realise there's been a lack of pics.
next post ba

my elderly are killin me at the moment... pray hard that the complaints will get lesser and not so serious

on course thurs and half friday. i will be off PM. oooo maybe i should cut my hair

and lovely bones on thurs with lovely girls

thank you my friends for buying from me the accessories and thank you for recommending your friends to buy..

u all are wonderful

cant wait for clash of the titans!!! 3D. mus freaking book it soon!

I'm surrounded by selfish ppl..

Always sacrifice my things for people who don't appreciate.

So slpy

Hahaa I think the massage too good liao..

Today was act tai tai life day.. :D

Must start saving money le

I'm feeling very hot..
Promised myself this month no mc!




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I just wan to smile more.
I just wan to be happy.
I just need need my heart to feel happy again.


I need something to make me feel needed wanted and make a difference to people lives

I guess teaching is still something I believe in.

I will get there....
Somehow

:/




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rely on people really can die

i already trying not to rely

u all jus dun come and add more things can already

i dun understand whats going on leh
why everyone like so competitive, yet still wanna slack

then alot of things = teamwork
but then wan to be so selfish

until i dont even feel like doing anything or helping at all

narrowminded people.

一手遮天 ... hahahaa more like 一手顶天
see already i wan to laugh

cannot see that only im the one rushing here and there and every freaking person calling my name

f up people who only think of themselves

complain complain argh
tmd

im blogging at work

1) i am BORED
2) i have somethings on my mind that i cant get rid of them

its there.
that nagging feeling
im not so sure anymore

but we all have choices
if only there was somebody ...

can i be selfish
can i dun pick up calls when ure crying, sad, angry
dun reply smses when i know youre hurt, depressed
dun care about what you feel
jus think about what i wan, what i need

cause at the end of the day
everyone thinks for themselves
and so wat if im understanding and give give give
whos gonna think for me at the end of the day
NOBODY

so dun expect me to be nice
because some people have no initiative, have no conscience and have no brains to think for other people

thats why im angry
thats why im sad
thats why i cant do anything
i cant even say out the exact reason why im upset
I CANT
it will tear everything apart again

and so i wait

which adeline you all prefer?
choose
let me know

the one who, is irritated but tries to keep quiet and help u
but she cant always be at that level, she has her own temper, own problems, own thinking, own feelings.
so she bursts, snaps, sarcastic remarks.
and then you turn aroound and say 'adeline today siao, emo, bad mood, for nothing anngry'
and nobody bothers
and blame me instead
but they forget to reflect on their own bloody actions and spare a thought for other people

OR

adeline who feels irritated, think that if i dont tell u, u'll never know. so i snap/complain/feedback
but no, say i always complain, always emo, always unhappy..
the adeline that you know is not like tt blah blah

so what exactly you all want
cant be myself
nobody accepts me for me but want me to accept them for that
so i keep quiet most of the time
i talk rubbish most of the time
i laugh alot, smile alot
even though im feeling empty inside

cause this is the adeline everyone wants
cant be angry, cant complain, cant make noise, cant be selfish, must be understanding

im tired
its like a struggle to live everyday

im jus very unhappy with my life.

is this gonna last forever.

everyday i hehe and haha and laugh and smile
but still feel so empty.



hai
im the worlds biggest fool

f everything.

things keep going wrong.
no matter what i do.

so unhappy with my life.
why cannot jus die