dont understand why i so stupid. hai.

stupid, blur and clumsy

I'm lonely...

Why?

I think I've tried my best le..

recently moody.

think got bad feeling ba. like something is happening..

i tot try to be friendly might make somethings go away. haha. i thought being friends means i can officially tell myself its over. but i too naive.
its not up to me to say and somehow theres nothing i can do about it.

ure here, there and everywhere.
when i least expect, u pop up to remind me that it might still be there.
y u so powerful? so many ways and means of appearing.
that i feel ure still there somehow. haha.
y cant u jus get out of my life. out of all our lives for a while.
or maybe i happily in my own world and unaware of certain things going on.

i keep quiet because i wanted to give u time to tell me. to show me.

this time i wont delete le.. coz ive been feeeling this for a few days. how i delete post, ignore and ignore i still feel the same.

i want to say but cant say. want to ask but dun dare.




this year's birthday and 3 years didnt go well..
maybe the longer u are together the shittier it becomes.
i hate celebrating all these things actually.
because once u break up/die. all meaningless.
i jus feel that they are good excuses to gather and spend time together.

or maybe i'm jus not good enough. and i had a shitty year so far.
i quarrelled with everyone i know man. so unhappy.
the weird thing is i tot those days are over.
but they come back to haunt me.

hahaa i decided to delete... to prevent quarrels or watever unnecessary things.

i think ive been unlucky recently. weird things keep happening..


does hiding or not talking about things make it go away?
does behaving like it doesn matter to me means i wont feel the pain?

ive learnt to be not so impulsive on certain things, not to jump into conclusions.
but sometimes the feeling is jus there. i cant pretend its not there, but i can mask it. i can only distract myself, or pretend everyting is fine.

because sometimes whats the pt of saying it out?
if u really think in my place, you will know.

maybe i'm expecting too much. and i'm very unsure about which step to take.
do i say.. or do i not.
sometimes i say because i feel that u should know, i wan u to know that doing this hurts me.
yet i offend certain people. or people think ive changed because of this this this.. but nobody reflects. eh "maybe i like to be treated this way but she doesn?"

when we wan to treat someone nice is to give that person what he/she wants.
i'm trying .. but even niceness has a limit.
to me, if certain thing is not impt to me, or does not affect WHO i am. i'm willing to change or be rid of that thing/person.

who should be the first one to take that step?

i always regret blogging after the next day. esp when i post bad stuff..
because i feel better after i slp.. and i try to forget or jus relax about the unhappy stuff..


do u?

I know I'm irritating...

I know y u angry..
I'm the idiot ba

arh. why suddenly got the feeling like there are pple going to ruin my happiness..
anyway, i'm tired. and i dun wan to care. if anyone wants to spoil my mood, wants to make me guilty, wants to make me sad or feel anything other than happy, then i'm sorry. ure not gonnna get anything.

i'm doing the best i can already.
i do not deserve to be guilty or ignored.
because ive not done anything to u, u or u.
:)


ok.. end of unhappiness..

ANYWAY!!!! i finally did it! wahahhaa.. not really like wat everyone describe lehs.
and duno why cannot upload pics to blogger using their thingy. and i'm too darn lazy to go photobucket. so it'll jus be pic-less for a while.. :D

and i'm excited about monday! :D


my face super bad condition now. :(

so little pics! omg.. faints.


Tembusu Neighbourhood Link ( TNL )

clothes made by one of the auntie. shes really amazing. haha she mops using a cloth.. and shes 80. shame on us..

Calligraphy class.
lovely SP students came to teach!
anyone got lobang to teach?