u all want to know who is an idiot. me.
biggest idiot in the whole world.

read somethings and believed them. and was quite happy. i tot i really able to get through it. and be truly and totally happy.
that is worth it.. the scoldings, the quarrels, the disapproving looks, the little enlightenment that i have here and there.

for once in the past few months.. i feel that my life is gonna get better.
got my job. got someone to treat me nice.
grandma passed away but she did live till 84.

and then i realise that i have to take a step back.
that the happiness might be all fake.
that i'm holding on to something that not meant to be mine?

was really very happy.
for the past 2 weeks. no tears.
even though my grandma passed away. had ur support, had my moments of sadness. but my family there, friends there, u there.

i slept at 7plus? woke up at 9plus 10.. couldnt slp. stomach rumbling and cant eat. i really not on purpose.
look on the bright side, time to lose another few kilos. one day i might poof into thin air. and that will be the happiest day of my life.