recently moody.

think got bad feeling ba. like something is happening..

i tot try to be friendly might make somethings go away. haha. i thought being friends means i can officially tell myself its over. but i too naive.
its not up to me to say and somehow theres nothing i can do about it.

ure here, there and everywhere.
when i least expect, u pop up to remind me that it might still be there.
y u so powerful? so many ways and means of appearing.
that i feel ure still there somehow. haha.
y cant u jus get out of my life. out of all our lives for a while.
or maybe i happily in my own world and unaware of certain things going on.

i keep quiet because i wanted to give u time to tell me. to show me.

this time i wont delete le.. coz ive been feeeling this for a few days. how i delete post, ignore and ignore i still feel the same.

i want to say but cant say. want to ask but dun dare.




this year's birthday and 3 years didnt go well..
maybe the longer u are together the shittier it becomes.
i hate celebrating all these things actually.
because once u break up/die. all meaningless.
i jus feel that they are good excuses to gather and spend time together.

or maybe i'm jus not good enough. and i had a shitty year so far.
i quarrelled with everyone i know man. so unhappy.
the weird thing is i tot those days are over.
but they come back to haunt me.